Only in China

Here are some interesting things I've come across over my short 1.5 years of living in China. 

I'd just like to make clear that -- This blog post is NOT intended to mock or ridicule anyone. These are merely observations which I, as a foreigner in the Middle Kingdom, found interesting, new, some rather cute, ingenious, amusing, and a range of other emotions you'll probably go through with me when you view these pictures and videos.

Allow me to start with the most common and mind-boggling topic...

Lost in Translation

Direct translation at its best! 
This sign was found outside a local massage parlour in Shanghai -- 'Stick in the foot'... 'Pinch foot'... 'Knock the legs'... 'Open back'...... *Yeowch*!!  

While their attempt at being more global and accessible to the English speaking crowd is a business-savvy move, the 'painful' translation may potentially backfire and cause them to lose customers instead... The massage really wasn't as bad as they 'promoted'!

What... A street for Aliens...?!!
You'll find this sign outside the Silk market in Beijing where many tourists work hard haggling for the things they want. Dangerous place to go to since you often end up buying things you don't need only because it was irresistibly cheap.

'Aliens' actually refer to foreigners. It's not a derogatory term, but an official term you can find in immigration papers and visa-application forms. This is so that you can keep smiling as you fill in the millions of paper work to enter the Middle Kingdom :)

The English text on the top right prints: 'Beef powder, surface'. 
Well, technically that isn't wrongly translated, but it certainly isn't Beef powder in the picture. Both 粉 and 面 (in the menu above) refer to 'Noodles', but the former is Rice noodles, and the latter is the typical noodles made of wheat. So, no you shouldn't expect to be served with Beef powder on a surface :)

Clearly three different images, but all of them have the same English text which says 'Braised fish in Rice Wine Sauce'!! Come on... Someone was just laaaazzzy...... And this was at a restaurant in the Guiyang Airport.  If this were in the Beijing Capital Airport or Shanghai Pudong Airport, I'd say that person ought to be fired. Hah!

And please brace yourselves for the next one...

O ma lorrrdd..... This has got to be the most unfortunate translation I've seen by far! LOL
(Found this one while reading online, so take it with a pinch of salt, and don't ask me where you can get this 'Soup for Sluts' mailed over to your nemesis)

Food

Some fancy-schmancy stuff...

(Click here for clip.)

Deep-fried Tarantulas

Lizards

Stir-fried Sandworm, on Hainan Island... Chewy, Earthy... That's how I'd describe it.

What do these look like to you?
At first glance, we thought these were bricks... But why would people soak bricks in water... Upon closer inspection, I realised that those blocks were coagulated duck blood, and the restaurateur confirmed that. Nothing goes to waste here.

For all you busy people out there who are constantly on-the-go. Here are individually packed ready-to-eat chicken feet for you :) As I said, nothing goes to waste. Pity I don't have pictures of duck tongue...

The characters on the package say: 'Dog meat'... My dogs will NEVER forgive me for buying this!

These are just some of the more exotic and funky food... They certainly do not represent all of China. There are some really pleasant places where you can dine with good food too.

Branding

If ever you can't think of a logo for your new establishment, your best bet, is to INVERT a well-known logo:

Or use the signature colours of a famous brand...

Häagen-Dazs... Not! 
But a nicer version where they actually "wish you success in the examinations!", hehe.. Makes eating the ice cream that much more enjoyable and the ice-cream sweeter!

Just try pronouncing that (without spitting)... :)  
My friends and I tried many times, but failed miserably, with splashes of spit on each others faces.

Mind-boggling

This was taken up at the CCTV Tower..... Yes, CCTV Tower... But look at what they were selling at the souvenir section! 

So I went up to the sales girl and asked casually, why were they selling models of the Eiffel Tower... What about models of the CCTV Tower, or the iconic CCTV Building?! "Shouldn't you be promoting CCTV, and China?" I asked. She just shrugged, giggled and said: "我不知道“ (I don't know). Too funny! and may I add - bad Branding too. Hah

The Chinese text in the picture above says "PRESS (to flush)".
Taken in a toilet at the Shenzhen Luohu 深圳罗湖 border crossing, this amused me as the only times I come across this, is when I need to turn on the lights or ring the doorbell. Do we press the button so someone will come flush for us? Heh.. Just 'ring the bell' and it'll be swell ;)

Fashion & Style

The infamous Beijing Bikini! Best thing to do on a hot summers day =)

Works better with a big belly, so it can hold up the rolled-up shirt.

Saw this in Hong Kong -- BB cream (Make-up foundation) for men...or sweet-looking boys like in the ad.


As for ladies, it's usually things cute, such as this: clip-on Shrek ears --  A very common sight in Spring, Summer & Fall of 2012 / 2013.

I'm bringing a pair of these ears home as a souvenir (along with individually packed chicken feet, heh..)

Sponge-bob Balloon Bag... Or, rather - Accessory. 
Thumbs-up for effort, creativity, and cuteness! Well done.

On the other end of the spectrum... there are some things which aren't as cute..

Pair this with my powerful flying-kick, and I'm  D E A D L Y... =D



Next, kid's fashion:

A very common attire for kids -- the crotchless-pants. Definitely very practical and functional!

Pet Fashion

Pimped up poodle!

Lion-dogs... Very common in Summer :) Some owners shave their cats the same way during Summer too.

Safety

This was in Shanxi where the workers were preparing for a big celebration of the 15th and final day of the Spring Festival, also known as the Earth & Fire Festival 社火节. The entire area was filled with fireworks and gunpowder in preparation for a 30-minute massive display of fireworks! These two men were handling electrical wires, and if you look closely, the guy on the left actually has a lit-up cigarette in his mouth...... I really feared for their lives, and ours too since we were allowed entry to the restricted area to film.

Read more about the Earth & Fire Festival and my filming experience in Shanxi.

See the man on the third floor? There are no ropes whatsoever tied to him (like what my friend's handyman did when he fixed the Air-conditioner's turbo fan out the window, on the 7th floor!!) I salute these guys. However, I'm still not in support of this as I had a friend who was once doing the same thing without any safety measures. Sadly, he wasn't as fortunate. He fell from the third floor... Survived, but that did some serious damage to the nerves in his brain and he lost his memory. 

This safety notice by the railway tracks is a little disturbing... They actually have photos showing bodies of people who were hit and run-over by trains... This should serve as an effective reminder before crossing. A little gruesome though..

Alright, on a lighter note! :)

Customs & Ways of Life

This was at the first wedding I'd attended in China. What you're seeing are Peanuts, a bottle of Coke, Chinese liquor and yes... Cigarettes, on the dinner table, as 'appetisers'.

Rather than exerting energy for hours with a paper fan, why not just use a Hairdryer! I think this is just smart!

People.... Everywhere... at a subway station in Beijing during peak hour...
I'd still recommend everyone to experience this at least once! When you do, remember to just let go, don't resist, and just go with the flow... You'd be surprised how effortless the whole experience is... You barely need to walk or even exert energy standing up!! =)

I came to China expecting toilets without doors, but I did not expect them without dividers, heh.. You could read more here.

I wouldn't mind owning this cute vehicle, I call - 'the Chinese Beetle'

This is such an interesting way to take-away beer... In a big plastic bag!  Only in Qingdao.

I was chatting with the local taxi-driver and he said that back in the days, people would take-away these plastic bags of fresh beer, hang them at the rear-view mirror of their car, insert a straw and sip their beer while driving!! ....... Drink-driving at its best! ....... That's no longer legal in Qingdao.

Read more about this quirky city by the sea -- Qingdao.

Unbelievably disciplined dogs!! Ain't that just sweet...

Sports & Activities

Tired of ice-skating? Sit on this chair and just let your hands do the work!

Here's a close-up of the skating-chair. Take a good look at the 'skating-pole'... It's actually a huge screwdriver tied onto a metal stick! Someone had better not get into a fight while involved in this activity... heh

Biking in the sea!! in Qingdao

Since we're on the topic of Sports and Activities... How can we forget -- Lunges!! Hehee

I was in Hong Kong with a friend, queuing at the Avenue of the Stars (or rather, waiting to jump in as soon as the person before leaves the 'picture'). So, while I waited with camera in hand, for my friend to be the next to jump into the picture, a lady on my left, very suddenly did a huge lunge forward to snap the perfect photo for her friend.... It was too stylish to ignore!! So I naturally made good use of my waiting-time.  As suddenly as she performed her impressive lunge forward, I swooped the camera to my left for this quick photo-opp!! Couldn't help it :)

Still on the topic of Sports... This is one sport most Chinese would have no choice but to participate, especially if your train ticket isn't numbered... I call this the real 'Amazing Race: China Rush'. Watch it and you'll understand :)

(In case the video doesn't appear... Watch it here!)

This is why I love China. It is the vibe, and all these little surprises and experiences which wake me up on a daily basis. That to me, is the effect I look for when I travel -- which I so love!

Finally, I shall leave you with this entertaining MTV which pretty much sums up life in Beijing, and in China :)

Happy Travels, people!